


Bite Me

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Humor, young!Amy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 14:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"Twelve years and four psychiatrists."</p><p>"Four?"</p><p>"I kept biting them."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"They said you weren't real."</p>
    </blockquote>





	Bite Me

**Author's Note:**

> "Twelve years and four psychiatrists."
> 
> "Four?"
> 
> "I kept biting them."
> 
> "Why?"
> 
> "They said you weren't real."

## One

## 

“So, Amelia. Your aunt tells me that you have an imaginary friend. Why don’t you tell me all about him?’  
A ten year old Amy Pond looked at the man sitting across from her- Dr Barlowe, apparently- with great disdain.  
“First of all,” she said, flipping her hair back in a gesture of indignance she’d seen in some television show, “he’s not imaginary. Second, your suit is a terrible color.” There. She’d gone and broken one of her aunt’s cardinal rules. _Don’t insult the psychiatrist, he’s here to help you._ In response, the man merely looked back at her, sporting an expression of what seemed to be pure condescension, and a somewhat glazed-over smile.  
“Amelia, why don’t we forget about whether or not he’s real for now and have you tell me all about him, okay?” His voice oozed patronisation.  
“His name is the Doctor. The Raggedy Doctor. My Doctor. And he is real. He’s real and he appeared in his big blue box- the TARDIS, he said.” She folded her arms and glared back at him- rule number two, _no death glares_ \- unwilling to share her secrets with a man of such poor taste in suits. He had the gall to lean over and pat her hand, of all things. Amy inched her hand backwards slightly, but his didn’t move, and she looked at him in the eye, waiting for some sort of response.  
“Now, Amelia,” he said, large, sweaty hand still resting on hers. “I’m going to tell you something that you may not like, but that you need to know. The Doctor isn’t real. He’s just a figment of-“ The psychiatrist broke off, yelping loudly as he looked down to see Amelia Pond with her teeth clamped quite firmly around his hand. Rule number three: _no biting._

## Two

## 

“Before we begin, I just want to say that I think your hair is _lovely._ So _vibrant_ and beautiful.” The second psychiatrist, a Dr Julia Barnes, smiled at Amy, her teeth showing and fingers plucking a little nervously at the swiftly unraveling fabric of her yellow and brown boucle jacket. Amy looked over at her, shifted slightly in the puffy (and rather tackily upholstered) pink chintz armchair, and smiled back, saccharine sweet.  
“Thank you, Dr Barnes. I like your hair too. That odd little curly bit at the front distracts from your nose,” Amy remarked simply, smile never faltering, although Dr Barnes’ did. Amy could just _hear_ her aunt’s scolding tone- _rule one_ \- but she continued straight on, following up with the death glare, holding her chin high and staring down the somewhat gangly looking woman in front of her- _two._ But evidently Dr Barnes was not quite as easily cowed as Dr Barlowe, and she leaned in close to Amy, her face stern, and spat,  
“You may think you’re clever but all you are is a-“  
“You look like a squirrel,” Amy noted quietly. Dr Barnes stood up, grasping Amy’s upper arm, about to bring her through the door and to her aunt, but Amy twisted herself round, looked around to see if anyone was watching and bit down hard through the psychiatrist’s unfortunately coloured sleeve. _Three._ Damn.

## Three

## 

“Um, hello there. I’m Elizabeth James, and I want you to know that I’m here to help you, Amelia. I know you’ve had a… difficult time with psychiatrists in the past but I hope I can make you feel better about things.” This time it was a young woman, who seemed very sweet and innocent. Her mousy hair was painstakingly curled, and Amy fiddled with a strand of her own hair, biting her lip. She hated to go through the same routine as with the others- this Elizabeth James person seemed like she could be all right- but when Elizabeth continued, her mind was made up. “This, um, this doctor person you’ve been talking about isn’t real, you know. He doesn’t exist and the fact that you think so is a clear indication of-“ Amy noted that she was obviously quoting some textbook- “a hard childhood, which tells me that you need to open up more to your aunt about your feelings.” Amy glared- _rule two_ \- and began to speak.  
“You know what I feel?’’ she said, crossing her arms in front of her. Elizabeth looked excited. “I feel that you have no idea what you’re talking about.” Any chance of avoiding it went out the window- _rule one._ Elizabeth’s mouth opened and closed a few times, looking close to tears. But then her expression changed, rather horrifyingly, to something like pity, and she leaned forward to hug Amy, who squirmed in the pink cardigan clad grasp. When she found she couldn’t escape, she resorted to what she was used to- _and there goes rule number three._

## Four

## 

“What’s your name, then, young lady?” Dr Meryon, an elderly man.  
“Amelia. Amelia Pond, but I prefer to be called Amy,” she said shortly, refraining from death-glaring so soon. Her aunt’s words echoed in her mind- _I really mean it this time, Amelia. There’s to be no funny business at this appointment._ \- and somehow this just made her annoyed. “Look,” Amy said matter-of-factly, “I don’t want to be here. I have a feeling that you don’t either, so shall I just be going?” Dr Meryon looked surprised, but quashed it, saying only,  
“No, I’m afraid that’s not really an option, Amelia-“ she cursed him inwardly for this. She wasn’t Amelia; she was _Amy_ \- “You’re booked in for an hour’s appointment.” Amy rolled her eyes, looked over at the locked door (her aunt had probably warned him) and made up her mind. Right. She launched herself at him and bit down, hard. At least she’d managed not to break rules one and two this time.

 

*********

“That was your last chance, Amelia. No more psychiatrists, they’re clearly not working.” Amy looked over at her aunt and smirked. _Well, raggedy doctor, I managed it,_ she thought to herself, and looked out the car window as she usually did, to watch for blue boxes.


End file.
